Current mood: >:'(

When we moved into our own home in February 2016, the bathroom was ok and worked fine for us. It’s nothing fancy, shower over bath, toilet, sink.

It has a lino floor that is a bit uneven and oddly cut around the toilet. The plan was eventually to replace the floor with something better.

I finished showering today and when I stepped out, Husband shouted up to me asking if I was done. I said yes, to which he replied that ‘there is a leak in the kitchen.’

I put a towel around me and went downstairs to take a look.

Our kitchen is directly below our bathroom, and there is a gap between the lino floor and the bathtub where it doesn’t cover it. I put towels down to soak up water that might go there but it now seems that isn’t sufficient as there was water dripping from the ceiling where I know the edge of the bathtub is, one floor above.

Great. Just great. I had planned to replace the flooring there eventually but not right now as Husband has not had any hours since the 28th of July and things are tight. But I guess we have to now. Can’t have water damage, it’ll void the insurance and become more expensive and hard to fix in the long run if we don’t get it sorted now.

All the same. This together with Husband being refused for PIP last week (I’ll do a more detailed post about this) is sending my mood into a familiar spiral downwards now.

Have been walking around with a lump in my throat all afternoon.

 

Advertisements

Our back garden after having lived here a year and plans for next year.

Even though we are having a mild October thus far, it cannot be escaped that winter is coming.

We bought the house in February 2016 and our first summer here was spent just getting the house together and coming to terms with that my mother is terminally ill, after we received the news in May 2016 that her cancer is now too far advanced to treat.

So I didn’t do a lot in the garden. I hung washing in it on the line, and that was it.

So this summer I wanted to at least try to grow some things. I decided to try growing some herbs, and I wanted to try some nasturtiums as well. I was also gifted some plants before term ended at the college.

Safe to say, the nasturtiums did very well! But interestingly the ones that did the best were the ones we planted right into the flower bed rather than in the pot. I bought two packs of seeds for £2 and didn’t even use the other pack. I have been eating the leaves in salads and in sandwiches all summer so a very worthwhile investment.

Photo0368
Nasturtiums just taking over the garden now.
Photo0369
Look at it! Even the savage sage plant is a dwarf in comparison to the nasturtiums.
Photo0372
Our bounty; a lone tomato. Gave it to Husband so he could have it in his salad, he said it was lovely and sweet.

Although tomato plants are not perennial, I have decided to try and winter them. I’ll take them to the top floor of our house and cover a section of the floor with newspapers – because they did grow tomatoes eventually and I want to give them a chance.

Photo0371
Looking a bit forlorn now, I wonder if I can winter them?

For next year I think I will do the following:

  • I have managed to grow nasturtiums (probably through sheer dumb luck); I will try lettuce next year, and sow them as soon as it’s warm enough outside to do it. If my niece can inadvertently grow some by sprinkling some seeds in an unused sink in the garden, then I can do it too!
  • If wintering the tomato plants and pepper plant doesn’t work out I will buy some plants from the garden centre as soon as it’s warm enough. I may also try some cucumber plants next year.
  • Maybe get a fire pit or brazier? We have two deck chairs we have been gifted and it would be nice to sit outside with it in the back yard in the evening.
Photo0370
The acer in the back yard is starting to turn, looking lovely ^_^

 

A Sundry September.

September has been an interesting month.

Good points about September were:

  • We finally had the PIP assessment and grievance meeting for Husband.
  • Husband has become more confident in cooking and is thinking about more and more recipes he wants to try.
  • We got some lovely bargains reduced at the shop.
  • We were under budget on the old grocery shop. No large part due to the meat and food my sister and her family send with us when we were home in August.
  • We sold some things on eBay, everything helps for the Japan/Good-to-Have Fund!

Things that could be improved about September were:

  • Husband still has not been given any hours at the job where the grievance is. And we’ve had two letters from them which are the most unprofessional ‘professional’ letters we have ever seen, so with support of the union we will appeal their decision. This impacts on Husband’s mental health a great deal.
  • PIP still drags on. We rang them on the 10th of May to get this started so it seems to take a long time. DWP sent us their decision letter on the 28th of September. Their decision is to not award Husband PIP, and in each category, they have scored Husband 0 out of 8 or 12 points, meaning they don’t feel he needs support in these areas. I am changing between feeling tearful and incandescent about this. We are having the mandatory reconsideration and then going to tribunal about this. It does make me wonder what happens to people who don’t have anyone to advocate for them.

 

 

 

Catch of the Day: Delicious reduced food.

Went by the Co-Op yesterday as I had a parcel to collect and found these little babies.

22163855_10155485686415255_1096317282_o
Got all of this for £1.46! I love the reduced section! Some we had with our soup for dinner and some has gone in the freezer. Bottom Left: The Cat inspects the Catch of the day.
22217763_10155485686455255_1921567129_o
The Cat enjoyed the Sun yesterday ❤

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Current situation: We’re still waiting.

So.

We had the grievance meeting concerning the experience Husband has had at his workplace in the beginning of the month. It was attended by our union rep, Husband and myself. From the employer’s side came the treasurer, who had been tasked with investigating our grievance.

I can’t deny, I felt a bit bad for her. After Husband’s boss left in July, the treasurer had been thrown in and has had to sort everything out from staff rotas etc. while training the new manager. So she hasn’t been able to get any information from her regarding our claims. But she did use the fact that Husband’s boss isn’t there anymore as a shield for a lot of the stuff we were concerned about – when it is in fact the whole organization who is at fault. Everyone is responsible for ensuring they are compliant with Equality and Diversity in the workplace. It’s as though there’s a culture there of that this kind of behaviour is acceptable. Nobody seems to challenge it, anyway, and that means accepting it, in my book.

Husband still has not had any hours since the end of July. The union rep queried this and what the treasurer said is that while Husband did put his holidays in the calendar, as he had not put his availability in the calendar, he was not scheduled to work any shifts.

Apparently when Husband’s boss was leaving, the treasurer took over putting together the rotas for the summer. The treasurer told the boss and deputy that she would be doing this based on what was put in the calendar, and to cascade this information to the staff so they would put their availability in the calendar.

They don’t seem to have told Husband this. In addition he went in with his timesheet in the beginning of August and verbally told the deputy he was available to work. They said they might have some work for him the following week, but of course we heard nothing. Can’t help but think the deputy is responsible for a lot of the upset Husband has gone through.

What really grinds my gears as well is that Husband has for three whole years while volunteering and later working there, always been given his shifts by text. Every. Single. Week. Why would he just understand that the procedure was different, unless he was told what to do?

We learnt that the workplace are in severe trouble financially due to parents either being in poor financial straits themselves or for simply not paying their bills. According to the treasurer, they’ve now had to sell some of the debt on to debt collection as the workplace is stretched very thin financially.

The treasurer did not say it directly but implied it was the main reason why Husband’s boss was asked to leave as she’d given people too many chances and agreed to let them pay in installments.

Because of this they will not be using any relief workers at the workplace apart from the holidays now, as they are contractually obligated to pay the manager and deputy, and the two apprentices they have.

The workplace has taken the log we have kept with what has happened to Husband, and also our list of Reasonable Adjustments, and will respond to these. Eventually.

Husband still wants to pursue the grievance as he feels it’s important to see through to the finish, but he has resigned himself to the fact that he now needs to consider his options.

Back to jobhunting, now. He naturally finds this quite daunting as he has not done this for three years.

This time it will be different though. Husband now has a diagnosis of Asperger’s Syndrome and we are exploring what support there is available for him through Jobcentreplus and Remploy.

All the same, I am worried about him and his mental health as I will be going back to work six days a week starting Monday. I wish i could spend more time at home to support him, but as the main breadwinner it’s just not possible. We need the money now. More than ever.

The unknown of trying new things. And the delight of finding you can manage.

Husband did something that’s not quite like him this week, and managed it as well.

He made dinner for me! And, he made something that he hadn’t made before, and he managed to do it.

For the uninitiated: Some people who have Asperger’s Syndrome struggle with things that are new and different, and encountering these things make them anxious. Some may also need very clear instructions and support with doing tasks.

For Husband, saying ‘just cook it until it’s golden all over’ for example is not helpful as he won’t understand what that would mean. How long is that for? And what shade of golden? Instead, you say ‘preheat the oven for 5 minutes. After the oven has preheated for 5 minutes, put the food in at 180 degrees for 45 minutes. Set a timer on your phone for it.’

Husband does cook but it has to be things he knows and has made before. Even then he will ask me to come and check the food and check it’s going ok.

I asked Husband if he could cook dinner on Wednesday as it is normally the hardest day at work for me, as it is so busy. He said he would and then said he would cook something new, try something different. I said that was ok and to think about what to buy and to check the cupboards as well, and I said if it didn’t work that we could have a takeout, that that would also be fine.

He said he would try making what he had in mind, and asked me to buy some crusty bread on my way home.

Well! I came home from work and we had this!

21744873_10155439992200255_1343335561_o
Husband made dinner! Potato, carrot and onion soup with mixed herbs, garlic and bacon.

He was so pleased with himself that me managed to do the recipe first time around with no support. It was delicious and he has said he will make it again for us. He explained to me in great detail how he’d researched recipes, gone up to the Co-Op to buy the ingredients and then peeled and chopped everything.

It might seem odd for some to celebrate it. But I am so proud of him for giving it a go and I can tell he was pleased with it, and that it’s given his confidence a boost. It is a big deal for him and I will continue to encourage him to try new things in future.

 

Sharing Sherwood – meeting new people in our community and avoiding food waste.

Sharing Sherwood hosted their meal again and Husband and I went along – this will be the last one I will be able to attend for some time as I work on a Sunday while the event is on, term time. It’s a shame as I have really enjoyed the previous two times we have been. We are meeting people in the community where we live, and some people who we’ve seen previously came and said hello to us which was lovely as well.

Photo0365
The menu – All delicious. The French onion soup was lovely!

The food served at Sharing Sherwood is given to them by FareShare; this is food they have collected from Supermarkets that would otherwise have been thrown out. Diners pay a donation when attending and they can also for a donation have some of the surplus food there. The money made from donations and the entry fee is then given to foodbanks in our local area.

Photo0366
My dinner! Clockwise from noon we have rice, mushroom pasta, onion bhaji, vegetarian curry with quorn.

The next dinner will be held on the 8th of October – maybe Husband and Neighbor will go along.

21684346_10155434684225255_1801559597_o
Got some lovely food for our donation; think the leftover bhajis will be part of our dinner tomorrow.